Many problems in life result from our inability to engage in healthy dialogue.  Therefore, anything that improves our capacity to connect, listen, and come to a common understanding could have a huge impact on our success in most situations -- at work, home, and at play.  Following is the first in a short series of pointers on how to become proficient in your ability to dialogue.

One study states that 62% of prisoners who have been convicted of a violent crime are first-time offenders.  What this means is that most offenders who commit violent crimes are not career criminals with lengthy rap sheets.  Instead, they may be a friend, a neighbor, or a colleague who got to the end of his rope, exploded in an out of control rage, and whacked someone over the head.  They hit harder than they intended and now they're doing time.  Why?  Because they didn't have the self-control and the understanding of how to express themselves in a way that is understood. 

Researchers can predict impending divorces by studying a couple's ability to work through differences without attacking, labeling, or insulting each other.  Half of all marriages fail because couples are unable to effectively deal with conflict.

The ability to express ourselves is found to also affect our personal health.  People who report healthy relationships with parents, coworkers, and friends, or who feel loved and supported, experience as few as one-fifth the number of serious illnesses as those whose relationships are unhealthy.  The healing power of relationships lies in people's ability to talk with others about what really matters.  Individuals who are comfortable in social situations, who can speak and be heard, who can listen and understand, and who can openly discuss what others find difficult to say are far healthier than people who can't.

Finally, consider the power of dialogue in the workplace.  When employees are able to bring information out on the table where it can be seen and analyzed, make decisions based on complete information, and then act on those decisions, organizations reap the benefit because happier employees provide better service to customers and stakeholders.  The competitive advantage in the future, for all organizations, lies in the ability to equip employees with the skill to engage in healthy dialogue.

At the center of individual, family, team, community, and organizational vitality lies one tool:  dialogue.

"The void created by the failure to communicate is soon filled with poison, drivel, and misrepresentation."

--C. Northcote Parkinson

"You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere."

--Lee Iacocca
 

Reportedly IBM's Tom Watson was asked if he was going to fire an employee who made a mistake that cost IBM $600,000.  He said, "No, I just spent $600,000 training him.  Why would I want somebody to hire his experience?"

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